This is so interesting. Someone just commented that I'm alpha, an alpha female. Ahhh am I? I have never thought of myself this way. Now what's an "alpha female" anyway? In the past, the term "alpha male" would have been more recognised: "applied to humans, apparently denotes physical prowess, high achievement, bullying and sexual attraction. It is not an entirely flattering term, calling to mind the aggressive chest-beating of a silverback gorilla, but perfectly describes someone who bends others to his will." To put it simply, machiam like King Kong la.

But in recent years, the concept of "alpha female", both in the human and animal social contexts, is emerging. And basically, the alpha female is quite the female version of the alpha male. So duh right? HA. If we look at the context of social animals such as the primates and elephants, according to Wikipedia, "the alpha male or alpha female is the individual in the community whom the others follow and defer to." On the other hand, in the human context, if we base alpha female on the male model, we will find her in the boardroom, impersonating his bullying and overriding ambition. Sexuality plays a big part in alpha male's success, and probably plays such a part in the alpha female too, who is likely to be a tremendous flirt and spends a lot of effort on her appearance. Now, here's where I don't fit in. Friends on closer terms would know that I'm hardly a flirt. I don't even socialise with guys in the first place. I'm kinda aloof to them. 排男 is my attitude ever since uni. It means 排斥男人 hahah. Though I think that my aloofness towards the male species might be what makes me kinda alpha too. HA.

So anyway back to the topic, there are very few alpha females of this order, since most women have had the alpha-male qualities conditioned out of them and have been steered towards nurturing roles rather than world domination. Alpha female is described to be pretty exceptional. There are not a whole lot of people trying to be like her, whereas there are a lot of men behaving in the same way, clambering over each other to reach the top of the tree. Those women who do get to the top are mavericks, hybrids and deny that they are like other women. Women do not like alpha female very much, nor do they want to be like her. Women want to be liked, which holds them back.

Well, I would like to be liked. Won't you, regardless of your sex/gender? But most of the time, I don't care if I'm liked anot. I know that my personality is not very likeable. I am close to being obstinate and adhere to my own principles closely. And by doing so, sometimes it means that I don't fit into the crowd but who gives a fuck. At least I don't. I don't need to fit into any crowd. I don't follow. I lead my own life. I don't hold myself back from doing something just cause I think that this action won't be liked by others. Neither will I do something cause I think that people will like me more if I do so. As long as 对得起天地良心， 对得起父母, I'll go ahead. And if this is alpha, then well, good, I'm alpha.

Of course, there are people who see alpha female as inhuman. Quoted from somewhere: "Alpha female, like alpha male, depends on such a sense of innate superiority that she's probably not aware of her status (You mean like me? hohoho). Achievement is the focus of alpha female's life; anything else is secondary. She does not obsess about relationships. She is dominant. While she would be effortlessly talented and capable, she would need a reduced capacity for empathy, because otherwise it would derail her." Teh. Teh. Teh. All wrong. Achievements mean nothing to me. Or I would have worked myself much harder in uni to get a 1st class honours / join CCAs in uni to have a wonderful CCA record. The truth is, I don't give a damn. All my achievements so far are only based on one simple logic: I do what I like and I do best in what I like. And my relationships mean the world to me. And believe me anot, my empathy is much more than what I seem like. I'm not that stupid XX bitch who wrote an entire bloody useless entry on how it's "worthless" to to be empathetic because of some "survival of the fittest" law which she has misunderstood.

There's an theory on the alpha female which states that the model is entirely different, embodying the best female qualities rather than aping the male. And if one turns to nature for clues, the elephant society is a good example - a matriarchy, led by the biggest, strongest female, perceived as wise and kind, which keeps the group together. This model of alpha female has different qualities from the male: she shares his leadership and strength, but also promotes community. She is a woman of substance, who combines physical potency with seriousness of purpose. Motherhood is essential to alpha female's humanity: she is mature and connected. Even so, she is not hampered or compromised by motherhood in any way.

In the human context, the alpha female make an impact by the way they live their lives. In their sexual identity, in the way they construct their domestic lives, they strive to be true to themselves. If they are confrontational, it is not for its own sake, but to say: 'This is what I am.' They acknowledge their own complexities. Alpha males do not go down that route. Alpha male is driven by insecurity and fear: aware that there are many similar males climbing the ladder behind him, he clings to old-fashioned hierarchies and may soon become redundant. "Alpha male is such a male concept," says Julia Peyton-Jones, director of the Serpentine Gallery. "It's not a term you would apply to women. Women can be as powerful as men, but to call them alpha females would be limiting. On the whole, women have to be more inventive and they have the skills to get what they want without being so crude about it." Hey man, if it's according to this model, I jolly don't mind being an alpha female. Sounds wholly good to me. HA.


So do I think that I'm an alpha female? If being an alpha female means to understand yourself, to have a mind of your own, to be confident and not to care about what others think, to stand up for yourself against others, then well I am one. And anyway I don't specifically despise males. You can be a girl and if you don't have a mind of your own, well I won't think too highly of you too. But it's true that I don't like to see myself at lower ranks than males. I don't like the sexual sterotyping. Though I won't purposely compete against guys most of the time, I do find it satisfactory when my grades were better than most guys, or I ran faster than most guys in my class, or better at ball games. HA. Okok, alpha, I know. But alpha or not alpha, I do think that it's important that one knows what one is living for. Afterall, an average Singaporean lives up to 80 years. You don't wanna spend the remaining 5, 6 decades or so living like a zombie, do you? Take this coming GE as an example, those who get to vote should think clearly and carefully who you want to vote for and why. We are adults in our 20s already. Surely you can process your own thoughts properly and make your own decisions already. Sure, you can anyhow vote for one and even do a void, it's not illegal, but I'm sure that we are all mature enough to do something as simple as voting.

Anyway all these brought to my mind an old song by Christina Aguilera, "Can't Hold Us Down", so I guess I'll finally end this long post with this:

So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
.
.
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
.
.
If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

¶ 2:34 PM