Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Copycat-ing
Damn I'm simply too lazy and tired to type my own entry, so I'd grabbed this pretty interesting article from AskMen.com instead:
Job titles have gone too far. Remember the soda jerk? Well, maybe that's a little before your time, but there was once a guy who worked behind a lunch counter and we called him a soda jerk. I suppose today we'd call him a carbonated beverage specialist.
Of course, there aren't lunch counters anymore; there are coffee houses as far as the eye can see, and they're manned by people called baristas. What the hell is a barista? Let's be honest, a barista is an over-educated, disillusioned slacker who pours your overpriced coffee.
It's not clear exactly when the coffee guy became a barista, but it's yet another example of how the political correctness of the '90s went too far. What started as a movement to promote equality and understanding just spun out of control. I'm all for letting people feel good about themselves, but the kind of self-importance implied by stupid PC job titles goes too far.
1. Secretary
You remember the secretary; she probably worked for your father. I suppose we changed the title to throw the guys a bone on this one. After all, no guy wants to call himself a secretary. But I'm not so sure that administrative assistant is a step up. Now we have a job with an unclear description that is gender neutral. Is that really progress?
Better title: Coffee maker able to do light clerical work with a pleasant phone voice.
2. Prostitute
Here's the oldest of all old titles. I don't know what was wrong with prostitute. Sex surrogate is descriptive, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather be a prostitute. Sex surrogate sounds like a less-than-sexy backup plan.
Better title: A girlfriend working on an hourly rate who doesn't require dinner, flowers, foreplay, or talking about your day.
They aren't all stars, but hey, they're hot, so we were willing to cut them some slack on this one. But the real question is: What's wrong with "porn"? Nothing. Plus, the term "adult film" is kind of confusing. For example: Saving Private Ryan , by some standards, is an adult film... a film for adults. Saving Ryan's Privates is porn.
Better title: Failed actress or model, who met some interesting people and decided, "What the heck, I love sex, so I might as well get paid for it."
4. Garbage man
I don't think there was anything wrong with garbage man, but maybe some people thought there was a stigma attached to the title. This new title is all about self-importance. It's not waste, it's garbage. Waste is something you could have used, but chose not to. Garbage is something that you want far away from you. The word "removal" is just plain unnecessary, since it's clear that garbage shouldn't stick around. But engineer is what really goes too far. What kind of engineering is involved? None. You might as well call them waste removal accountants.
Better title: A person who doesn't have to shower before work.
He used to be a fireman because only men were allowed to do the job. Sexism? Not if you happen to be the 300-pound unconscious guy that a fireman is pulling out of a burning building.
However, the addition of the word "fighter" makes the job sound much tougher, which is nice but unnecessary. If fire is in your job title, we know you're tough.
Better title: Always-alert super-fast driver with excellent axe and hose skills.
¶ 9:18 PM
Get over yourself. That's my advice.
Job titles have gone too far. Remember the soda jerk? Well, maybe that's a little before your time, but there was once a guy who worked behind a lunch counter and we called him a soda jerk. I suppose today we'd call him a carbonated beverage specialist.
Of course, there aren't lunch counters anymore; there are coffee houses as far as the eye can see, and they're manned by people called baristas. What the hell is a barista? Let's be honest, a barista is an over-educated, disillusioned slacker who pours your overpriced coffee.
It's not clear exactly when the coffee guy became a barista, but it's yet another example of how the political correctness of the '90s went too far. What started as a movement to promote equality and understanding just spun out of control. I'm all for letting people feel good about themselves, but the kind of self-importance implied by stupid PC job titles goes too far.
1. Secretary
PC title: Administrative assistant
You remember the secretary; she probably worked for your father. I suppose we changed the title to throw the guys a bone on this one. After all, no guy wants to call himself a secretary. But I'm not so sure that administrative assistant is a step up. Now we have a job with an unclear description that is gender neutral. Is that really progress?
Better title: Coffee maker able to do light clerical work with a pleasant phone voice.
2. Prostitute
PC title: Sex surrogate
Here's the oldest of all old titles. I don't know what was wrong with prostitute. Sex surrogate is descriptive, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather be a prostitute. Sex surrogate sounds like a less-than-sexy backup plan.
Better title: A girlfriend working on an hourly rate who doesn't require dinner, flowers, foreplay, or talking about your day.
3. Porn star
PC title: Adult film star
Better title: Failed actress or model, who met some interesting people and decided, "What the heck, I love sex, so I might as well get paid for it."
4. Garbage man
PC title: Waste removal engineer
I don't think there was anything wrong with garbage man, but maybe some people thought there was a stigma attached to the title. This new title is all about self-importance. It's not waste, it's garbage. Waste is something you could have used, but chose not to. Garbage is something that you want far away from you. The word "removal" is just plain unnecessary, since it's clear that garbage shouldn't stick around. But engineer is what really goes too far. What kind of engineering is involved? None. You might as well call them waste removal accountants.
Better title: A person who doesn't have to shower before work.
5. Fireman
PC title: Firefighter
He used to be a fireman because only men were allowed to do the job. Sexism? Not if you happen to be the 300-pound unconscious guy that a fireman is pulling out of a burning building.
However, the addition of the word "fighter" makes the job sound much tougher, which is nice but unnecessary. If fire is in your job title, we know you're tough.
Better title: Always-alert super-fast driver with excellent axe and hose skills.
