You know that you've definitely, without any doubt of any sort at all, stepped into the adult world, when you start thinking about how to pay your loans. Yes, L-O-A-N-S. Loans. Geez, that word alone sounds so grown-up. C'mon, most adults do have loans that they have to spend portions of their monthly salaries to pay, loans that make losing their jobs unthinkable and worse than another Titanic or Poseidon sinking, loans that make them have second thoughts about grabbing that Gucci or LV bag that's already on sale. Ok, maybe the last part's only applicable to women like me. Correction: it's only applicable to people not born with silver spoons in their mouths like me.

Oh, loans. What a familiar word to most adults out there. Car loans. Apartment loans. Nowadays I think that you can get a loan for anything, anything at all. I've no doubt at all that my life will be full of loans. Loans that I'll probably spend my lifetime, working my ass off to pay off.

To start off, it did come as a pretty huge shock when my sister told me that a letter from the bank had arrived. First thought that came into my mind: The loansharks have come for me. Ok, the bank won't be too pleased to have me calling them loansharks. They didn't exactly put a gun to my head to have me get a loan from them, though neither I had a choice. I don't think that there's any chance they'll be hanging bloody pig heads outside my door or chain my door or splash paint on my door if I miss a month of payment. And their interest rate isn't as excruciatingly high. To be honest, an average interest rate of approximately 5% seems ridiculously low when you are trying to earn interest from your savings in the bank. But, when it comes to loans, 5% is too much la. My loans amount up to about $40 000. Do your Math. The interest alone's $2000! That's like a month's salary for me! And I haven't even got a job yet!! *faint*

But ok, to be fair, it's my own "fault" that I haven't find a job yet, if it can be considered as a fault. I do not want to rush into a job that I don't like. And my parents are kind enough not to hurry me about my job too. In fact, my mum gave me a deadline to get a job by end of October. I was mortified. October??!! If I'm not employed by then, I will absolutely be mortified. But I do appreciate my mum's support. It's moments like this, when something big is about to happen in your life, you are kinda lost but you are searching for the light, and then she's there for you, yet giving you ample space to breathe. She's my rock. =) And if it wasn't already sweet enough, she decided that I shouldn't chip in for the household allowance until I pay off my loan, so that I've more money to pay to the banks monthly. She's my 10-carat diamond. =) =)

And if my 10-carat diamond isn't enough, I've a smaller 5-carat diamond in the form of my sister who's also my accountant. Ok, she's in Biology but she's really good with money. We think that it's a waste that she has no interest in Economics or Accountacy. So she has calculated for me how much I should pay each month out of my salary, and how many years it would need for me to pay off everything. I told her about my wish to settle everything within two years because of the interest rate, which is technically not quite possible with my supposed salary. And she actually volunteered to lend me all her savings, which is a substantial sum that should make me feel guilty cause I've negligible savings and while she's 3 years younger, she has 50 times of my savings, at the end of the two years, to pay off the rest of the loans. Of course, I would've to return her the money, and proably more than that, cause she has her own loans too. But it's the thought that counts. It's when you are in deep shit, though logically speaking, I'm not yet in such deep shit but whatever, and your family stands by you and gives you a hand without any doubt of you at all. My 5-carat diamond.

So yes, my family's a bunch of diamonds. That's why sometimes I look at the world, look at the expensive cars that other people drive, huge houses that other people live in, Gucci bags that other girls carry, and then look at myself. And still think that I've all that I need in the world. Although once in a while, I feel that I'm lying to myself. Though I know that I'm not. You get what I mean? It's like you really have everything that you need and you know it, but somewhere inside your heart, you still hope that you can have that Gucci bag or Porche. hahah call that not knowing how to feel entirely satisfied, I guess. Or a materialistic woman.

But it's all about balance. Work and play. Family and friends. Save and spend. Or should it be "SPEND and save"? haha~ But honestly, it's the first time in my life that I've realised the importance of savings, and the reality of loans which I'm afraid is going to be of a prolonged existence in my life. But I don't see it as a burden. I've always known in my younger days that I would need to take loans to complete my varsity education. It didn't come as a shock. It's like part of my life, part of my family's life - loans, loans and more loans. People born with silver spoons in their mouths live life the easy way but learn life the hard way. People like me live life the hard way but learn life the easy way. It's all relativity.